Monday, November 2, 2009

My Top 5 Post Pregnancy Happy Thoughts.

This blog post is not about the obvious mushy stuff. Of course what I'm most looking forward to is finally having my little bundle of joy in my arms. Having another happy, healthy son is going to be my biggest blessing through all of this, but I'm not going to talk about the obvious here. I'm going to talk about the stuff that I didn't learn about until AFTER I became pregnant. I'm going to share with those of you who may not have been there yet, what you can really expect. I'm going to share it with those of you who have been there too, so that you know that you aren't alone.

Happy Thought #1
EATING. That's right, eating. I know most people think that while pregnant you can eat with wreckless abandon. WRONG. While pregnant you obsess over labels. Does this food contain MSG's? Is there mercury? Has this meat been fully cooked, I don't want to get Listeria!!! Oh my gosh, is this cheese considered a soft cheese? Are these eggs fully cooked? Oh yes, the list goes on and on. Once my baby is born I plan on consuming my weight in bleu cheese, fish, shrimp, cold cuts, tuna and anything else I can get my hands on. Well, for at least a couple of weeks, then the diet will begin.

Happy Thought #2
NOT GOING TO THE RESTROOM EVERY 20 MINUTES. Okay, so maybe it's every 40 minutes, but you still find the bathroom ends up being the room most visited during the course of a day. Everyone knows that once the baby gets here, sleep will be at a minimum. But not every Mom to be realizes that the lack of sleep starts way before that cute little bundle arrives. It is nothing for me to be up 5 times per night to empty my poor bladder. Not only will I be happy, but so will my kidneys.

Happy Thought #3
BENDING OVER. One day it just happens, you drop something, bend over to pick it up, only to realize you can't. You start to realize that your body must contort into completely unnatural ways to put on your socks. I have mastered the "grab your pant leg at the calf and hoist your leg up" maneuver to simply put on my socks. I have learned to squat like a frog to pick up something I have dropped, or better still, just use my toes to grab it and lift.

Happy Thought #4
EXISTING AGAIN. I find when I am pregnant I do not exist. No, I am just a vessel in which this precious life grows. Nothing I do is about me, it is all about the baby. Most Mom's (like me) don't put themselves first regardless, but if we want to eat a few Cheetos, we allow ourselves.....unless pregnant (yeah, Cheetos have MSG, read the label) because what we want doesn't matter. What matters is what's best for the baby. You see, when I get to be Donna, I sleep on my back or my tummy, sometimes...even on my left side. But when pregnant, I do what is best for the baby, I sleep on my right side, no matter how bad my hips hurt. When not pregnant, I sometimes eat food that (GASP) contains MSG, while pregnant, there is no way that's going to happen. When I am Donna, I take steaming hot showers or baths, not anymore. When I am Donna I am very physically active, but for the 9 months I am pregnant, I am careful not to lift anything too heavy, not to overexert myself, not to go for that 5 mile hike. I never think about what I want to do, I think only about how what I'm doing will affect the baby. Oh, and do not even think about coming near me with the slightest hint of cigarette smoke on your clothes, I will run in the opposite direction. Okay, maybe not run...but walk away really fast.

Happy Thought #5
NOT BEING TERRIFIED OF THE SWINE FLU. Everyone knows by now that the most high risk category for swine flu death is pregnant women and children. I was always concerned about germs before, but now....I am a full fledged germaphobe. Seriously, I think I may have to join Germaphobics Anonymous after this. I wash my hands so much and use so much antibacterial gel that my hands are becoming dry and cracked! If my eye itches, I don't dare scratch it, I just suffer. I don't want to take a chance of rubbing some killer organism into my eye. I couldn't tell you the last time I touched a door handle. When I leave a public restroom, I wrap my hand in a paper towel to open the restroom door. After passing the offering tray at church, I squirt antibacterial gel on my hands. Seriously it's becoming a sickness and the only cure is delivery.

There is so much more I could write, but I think I may save it for a book (yes, I think I could come up with enough post pregnancy happy thoughts to fill a book). What are some of your post pregnancy happy thoughts? I'd love to hear them!

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