So I did it. I told Nicholas about Emile. I explained that Emile had died and was in Heaven. The first thing Nic said was, "I want to go see him now." GULP.
I explained, "Honey, we can't see Emile anymore because he has gone to live in Heaven with God, he is very happy there and he will be there forever." He then tears out my hear by saying, "Mommy, this makes me so sad." I tell him I understand, that I am sad too and that it's okay to be sad. I explain that we will always love and miss Emile, but that one day, we will see him again. I explain that Emile is very happy right where he is now and we always want those we love to be happy.
After some hugging and more talking he perked up. He then asked, "Mommy, can I get another fish? It won't be Emile, but I liked having a fish." YES!! He gets it. It was hard, but I told him the truth, talked with him simply and honestly about it and he is doing well! I'm proud of him for understanding his feelings and being able to verbalize them so clearly to me. I'm proud that he understands that the new fish will not replace Emile.
Our new fish is named Remy. For those of you who don't know, Remy was Emile's brother in the movie Ratatouille.
I feel better that I was honest and helped Nicholas to understand this important life lesson. Thank you God for guiding my heart in the right direction.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Saying Goodbye, part 1
My son's Beta fish, Emile, went off to that big fish tank in the sky. My son LOVES this fish. He helps feed him, clean the tank and thanks God for Emile in his prayers at night. But my son is only 3. How do I explain this to him?
Ever since I found out I was pregnant, I have always focused on protecting my child. I know most parents, especially Mom's, can relate to that. When your little one is in your womb you second guess everything. You stop thinking of yourself first. Now you think, "If I eat that tuna, will it hurt the baby?" Before, it was just, "Yum...tuna!" EVERYTHING you do, is to protect your child. I even remember while I was pregnant being in a situation that may not have been the safest place for a woman 7 months pregnant and specifically thinking, "Protect the baby! Protect the baby!" It wasn't just a thought, it was a loud voice telling me this. I removed myself from the situation immediately. I have always been like a Mama lion, protecting my baby! I would even keep my arms wrapped around my belly and "hug" Nicholas all the time.
Now he's 3 (almost 4) and his little fish that he loves has died. My first reaction was to protect him. I don't want my son to be sad or hurt. Just buy another fish that looks like Emile and hope that Nicholas doesn't notice. But my son is smart, I know he will notice. I could tell him Emile changed colors, like a chameleon, but that would be lying. I can't lie to my child. I can't lie, period. I just can't live with myself, especially as a Christian. I know better. I was also worried that I would be sending the wrong message to Nicholas. I don't want him to think that things we love are so easy to replace. So I prayed on it and decided to tell him.
He doesn't know yet, I plan on telling him after I pick him up from school. I don't know what his reaction will be and didn't want him to be upset at school. I will explain to him, in simple terms what happened. I will explain that Emile is in Heaven with Jesus. I will explain that it's okay to be upset and to miss Emile. Then I will let him talk and hear what he has to say and how he feels. If he wants to get another fish, I will let him, but only after explaining that the new fish does not, in any way, replace Emile, we will still miss him. I want to make sure he understands that the new guy is not a new Emile.
I'll let you know how it goes in part 2 of this blog! Wish me luck!
Ever since I found out I was pregnant, I have always focused on protecting my child. I know most parents, especially Mom's, can relate to that. When your little one is in your womb you second guess everything. You stop thinking of yourself first. Now you think, "If I eat that tuna, will it hurt the baby?" Before, it was just, "Yum...tuna!" EVERYTHING you do, is to protect your child. I even remember while I was pregnant being in a situation that may not have been the safest place for a woman 7 months pregnant and specifically thinking, "Protect the baby! Protect the baby!" It wasn't just a thought, it was a loud voice telling me this. I removed myself from the situation immediately. I have always been like a Mama lion, protecting my baby! I would even keep my arms wrapped around my belly and "hug" Nicholas all the time.
Now he's 3 (almost 4) and his little fish that he loves has died. My first reaction was to protect him. I don't want my son to be sad or hurt. Just buy another fish that looks like Emile and hope that Nicholas doesn't notice. But my son is smart, I know he will notice. I could tell him Emile changed colors, like a chameleon, but that would be lying. I can't lie to my child. I can't lie, period. I just can't live with myself, especially as a Christian. I know better. I was also worried that I would be sending the wrong message to Nicholas. I don't want him to think that things we love are so easy to replace. So I prayed on it and decided to tell him.
He doesn't know yet, I plan on telling him after I pick him up from school. I don't know what his reaction will be and didn't want him to be upset at school. I will explain to him, in simple terms what happened. I will explain that Emile is in Heaven with Jesus. I will explain that it's okay to be upset and to miss Emile. Then I will let him talk and hear what he has to say and how he feels. If he wants to get another fish, I will let him, but only after explaining that the new fish does not, in any way, replace Emile, we will still miss him. I want to make sure he understands that the new guy is not a new Emile.
I'll let you know how it goes in part 2 of this blog! Wish me luck!
Friday, April 17, 2009
It's Not a Book Review, It's a Devotional Review
Every night, before bed, I read a Devotional, as I'm sure many Christians do. I have one that I received as a gift from by best friend, Angelica, many years ago. It's a Devotional specifically for women and has really been a source of strength for me.
Recently, in addition to my Women's Devotional, I started reading "Night Light" by Dr. James and Shirley Dobson. It is a devotional for couples and one I would highly recommend. Along with scripture, prayer and insight, it gives you discussion points between couples, like "How have I shown you my love this week?" and "Is there an area in your life that you used to struggle, but now have turned it over to God and have positive results?" and "What aspect of my support means the most to you?" These talking points really are helpful with communication between a couple. Sharing this time with your significant other and sharing with them how much they mean to you and how much God has blessed your lives can only help a relationship. Build a strong foundation and you will have a successful, lasting relationship. This Devotional is definitely something that can help you accomplish that and one I would highly recommend.
Recently, in addition to my Women's Devotional, I started reading "Night Light" by Dr. James and Shirley Dobson. It is a devotional for couples and one I would highly recommend. Along with scripture, prayer and insight, it gives you discussion points between couples, like "How have I shown you my love this week?" and "Is there an area in your life that you used to struggle, but now have turned it over to God and have positive results?" and "What aspect of my support means the most to you?" These talking points really are helpful with communication between a couple. Sharing this time with your significant other and sharing with them how much they mean to you and how much God has blessed your lives can only help a relationship. Build a strong foundation and you will have a successful, lasting relationship. This Devotional is definitely something that can help you accomplish that and one I would highly recommend.
Monday, April 13, 2009
He's So Cute! Where'd Ya' Get That???
I've had a lot of people ask me about Nic's Easter outfit, so I thought I'd share on my blog where we got his outfit and why I love the store we got it from. Nic's entire outfit, the hat, the shirt, the sweater vest, the pants and blazer all came from The Children's Place and we got the entire outfit on sale! If you plan it right, take advantage of the sales and coupons they will send you if you sign up for their mailing list, the clothes at the Children's Place can actually save you money. How you ask? Simple. The quality of clothes are better and they last longer! Nic is a boy and little boys get dirty! I have to wash his clothes A LOT! The clothes from the Children's Place always stand the test of time. No matter how many washes or how rough he is on them, they last without the shrinking, fading and fraying like some of the clothes we get at the "Big Box" stores. He has a size 4 sweater vest that we got from the Children's Place last year that still looks and fits like new. I also bought him a sweater vest, in a size 4, from a "Big Box" store at the same time. A year later, the "cheaper" sweater doesn't fit, is faded, has frayed edges and "pills" all over it. I can get another 6 months out of The Children's Place sweater, the other sweater has gone to Good Will after running my shaver over it to get rid of the pills. I have found my Children's Place outfits last twice as long as his other outfits so I get more "bang for the buck."
Now, that's the sensible side of me talking, the other thing Nic and I both love about The Children's Place is the style of the clothes. Everyone thinks if you have a little boy you don't have the wide variety of clothes that girls have. In some stores, that is true, there are more options for cute girl outfits than boy outfits, but the Children's Place has just as nice of a variety for boys. Nic likes the "polished/preppy" look, but he also likes cotton t-shirts and fun play clothes too. The Children's Place fits both needs. The style is great, the quality is fantastic, so I would definitely recommend giving them a try! You can check out their latest clothes on their web site: http://www.childrensplace.com/.
Here is my little guy in his Easter outfit:
Monday, April 6, 2009
The meaning of Rainbows
I had the most amazing dream the other night about a rainbow. It was the biggest, brightest most beautiful rainbow I had ever seen, it took up most of the sky and the colors were so vibrant I almost needed sunglasses just to look at them. When I woke up I felt such peace and happiness and my first thought went to God and how he used a rainbow in the Bible to symbolize his promise to us. Rainbows are a blessing and the one in my dream had such an impact on me that I wanted to do some more research.
After doing some research on the dailywisdom.com web site, I found this:
"When we consider the many colors of the spectrum from a Scriptural perspective, it appears that even in the simple design of the rainbow, each shade may hold deeper meaning.
- Blue portrays heaven and infinity.
- Red or scarlet depicts blood and redemption.
- Orange is for the fruit of atonement.
- Indigo was the dark blue dye obtained from the plant; the color of skins used for the Tabernacle covering.
- Green stands for new life or resurrection.
- Yellow or gold depicts perfection and deity.
- Violet or purple is the color of royalty and kingship.
The next time you see a rainbow, consider the silent yet profound message this symbol speaks, not just to mankind, but to you, as a sole individual. The Creator sees you for exactly who you are, and it is important that all people, no matter what their race, creed or color, come to full knowledge of the Divine. God's word is written all around us, and His truth is just waiting for the soul who thirsts for righteousness. Let His awesome light shine upon you!"
I had never read about each color of the rainbow and their scriptural meaning. I thought I would share this so that the next time you see a rainbow, you can think of them too.
Remember everyday to give thanks to God for even the smallest of things and to have faith in Him with the biggest of things. Each day, spare some time to look at the beauty of the world around you, be it the first flowers of spring, the blue sky above or the fact that you have a home to live in and give thanks to God for these blessing that we sometimes overlook. Remember to have faith in Him for the big things, the problems, the worries the fears that you may have. He will take care of you! God has promised in Romans 8:28 that "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him..." Even though it may be difficult for us to see and understand how this is accomplished, have faith and He will deliver.
After doing some research on the dailywisdom.com web site, I found this:
"When we consider the many colors of the spectrum from a Scriptural perspective, it appears that even in the simple design of the rainbow, each shade may hold deeper meaning.
- Blue portrays heaven and infinity.
- Red or scarlet depicts blood and redemption.
- Orange is for the fruit of atonement.
- Indigo was the dark blue dye obtained from the plant; the color of skins used for the Tabernacle covering.
- Green stands for new life or resurrection.
- Yellow or gold depicts perfection and deity.
- Violet or purple is the color of royalty and kingship.
The next time you see a rainbow, consider the silent yet profound message this symbol speaks, not just to mankind, but to you, as a sole individual. The Creator sees you for exactly who you are, and it is important that all people, no matter what their race, creed or color, come to full knowledge of the Divine. God's word is written all around us, and His truth is just waiting for the soul who thirsts for righteousness. Let His awesome light shine upon you!"
I had never read about each color of the rainbow and their scriptural meaning. I thought I would share this so that the next time you see a rainbow, you can think of them too.
Remember everyday to give thanks to God for even the smallest of things and to have faith in Him with the biggest of things. Each day, spare some time to look at the beauty of the world around you, be it the first flowers of spring, the blue sky above or the fact that you have a home to live in and give thanks to God for these blessing that we sometimes overlook. Remember to have faith in Him for the big things, the problems, the worries the fears that you may have. He will take care of you! God has promised in Romans 8:28 that "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him..." Even though it may be difficult for us to see and understand how this is accomplished, have faith and He will deliver.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Monday, March 16, 2009
To Homeschool or Not to Homeschool....That is the Question.
I didn't sleep at all last night. I was up all night worrying about my 3 year old son's education. Yes, I'm a worry wart. I have very valid concerns though (in my opinion). Let me give you a little back story so you can understand why. I'll start off by saying, I'm truly not trying to brag, but my son is only three years old and he is already at least at a first grade level academically. He can read and write all by himself and do simple arithmetic (add and subtract numbers under 10, counts to 100 by 1's, 5's and 10's, etc.). He has known his shapes, colors and patterns since before he could walk. He spoke early as well, by 11 months he was saying two word sentences.
My concern is that some of the things he learns in preschool now are things that he has known since he was 1 or earlier. By the time he gets to kindergarten, in two more years, I have a feeling he is going to be far ahead of his classmates academically and be bored out of his mind. I have him in a private Christian preschool right now and we really do love it. Even though he is academically ahead, he is still only a three year old and acts like a typical three year old, so he would not be ready to be around a first grade classroom. The preschool is only 3 hours a day, two days a week, which is perfect. It's enough time for him to work on social skills and be around other kids his age, but not long enough that he gets bored out of his mind being there. However, next year preschool goes to three days a week and I am afraid he will get bored.
With all this being said, I know it seems the simple answer is to homeschool him so that I can keep up with his pace and he doesn't have to throttle back his learning to stay around kids his own age. My concerns with homeschooling, however, are this:
1. Whenever Nic says that he can't do something without even trying it, I tell him there is nothing he can't do and not to say he can't do something when he hasn't even tried yet. When it comes to homeschooling, if I do that first, am I saying he can't do a private school without even trying it first? I want to make sure Nic gets every opportunity in life. I think a private school is an opportunity he deserves to try (I say private, because I really do think a private school will be the best option for him, I have no plans to send him to public school). If we at least try a private school first, if it doesn't work out, THEN we can re-visit homeschooling. At least we can say we tried and he had that opportunity. I won't feel like I've robbed him of an opportunity due to my own fears. I feel I should practice what I preach and let him try school before I say he can't do it.
2. It comes back to opportunities and social activities. For example, if Nic is home schooled, he won't get to go to Prom, Homecoming or be President of the Drama Club or even be Senior Class President, if he chooses. He won't get to be Captain of his high school football team, if he wants to be. If I start right off with homeschooling, I'm afraid I will be taking those opportunities from him without even trying. These are things I loved about school, I don't want to rob Nic of these fun, time-honored, teenage traditions.
3. I'm not a teacher. I don't feel I'm qualified to teach my son effectively. Now, I've had people telll me this is crazy because I've done such a great job teaching him so far. But I'm 35 years old, I know how to read and write so I can handle teaching reading, writing and simple math. I can even handle simple science lessons. My fear is when he gets older, what if he wants to learn Algebra or Calculus? What if he wants to become a scientist and I don't have access to a chemistry lab? There is no way I could teach those things!
4. College - I've read that children who are homeschooled have a more difficult time adjusting to college life. Also, if he is homeschooled and wants to go to a top University, he will be competing with the kid who went to a great school, was President of his class and Captain of his football team. Guess who the college is going to pick first? Guess who will have a better shot at the scholarship?
With this being said, I hope I didn't offend anyone because that is not my intent. If you can homeschool your child, I think that's really great and I admire you. I think more children should be homeschooled. I'm just not sure it is the first option for Nic. One thing I've really learned from him being at preschool is that he LOVES being around children his age. He likes having his friends around and learning with them. I have also seen an improvement in his social skills. If he is homeschooled, he won't get to be around his friends as much. I guess that was just another point for private school.
Whatever school he attends, I plan on being very involved. I will know his teachers and be comfortable with them. One of the reasons I love his school now is because I know his teacher, I don't feel like I'm leaving him with a stranger for three hours. When he starts school, I plan on doing the same.
After writing this blog, its easier for me to see what the best option is for us. I'll start researching private schools today.
My concern is that some of the things he learns in preschool now are things that he has known since he was 1 or earlier. By the time he gets to kindergarten, in two more years, I have a feeling he is going to be far ahead of his classmates academically and be bored out of his mind. I have him in a private Christian preschool right now and we really do love it. Even though he is academically ahead, he is still only a three year old and acts like a typical three year old, so he would not be ready to be around a first grade classroom. The preschool is only 3 hours a day, two days a week, which is perfect. It's enough time for him to work on social skills and be around other kids his age, but not long enough that he gets bored out of his mind being there. However, next year preschool goes to three days a week and I am afraid he will get bored.
With all this being said, I know it seems the simple answer is to homeschool him so that I can keep up with his pace and he doesn't have to throttle back his learning to stay around kids his own age. My concerns with homeschooling, however, are this:
1. Whenever Nic says that he can't do something without even trying it, I tell him there is nothing he can't do and not to say he can't do something when he hasn't even tried yet. When it comes to homeschooling, if I do that first, am I saying he can't do a private school without even trying it first? I want to make sure Nic gets every opportunity in life. I think a private school is an opportunity he deserves to try (I say private, because I really do think a private school will be the best option for him, I have no plans to send him to public school). If we at least try a private school first, if it doesn't work out, THEN we can re-visit homeschooling. At least we can say we tried and he had that opportunity. I won't feel like I've robbed him of an opportunity due to my own fears. I feel I should practice what I preach and let him try school before I say he can't do it.
2. It comes back to opportunities and social activities. For example, if Nic is home schooled, he won't get to go to Prom, Homecoming or be President of the Drama Club or even be Senior Class President, if he chooses. He won't get to be Captain of his high school football team, if he wants to be. If I start right off with homeschooling, I'm afraid I will be taking those opportunities from him without even trying. These are things I loved about school, I don't want to rob Nic of these fun, time-honored, teenage traditions.
3. I'm not a teacher. I don't feel I'm qualified to teach my son effectively. Now, I've had people telll me this is crazy because I've done such a great job teaching him so far. But I'm 35 years old, I know how to read and write so I can handle teaching reading, writing and simple math. I can even handle simple science lessons. My fear is when he gets older, what if he wants to learn Algebra or Calculus? What if he wants to become a scientist and I don't have access to a chemistry lab? There is no way I could teach those things!
4. College - I've read that children who are homeschooled have a more difficult time adjusting to college life. Also, if he is homeschooled and wants to go to a top University, he will be competing with the kid who went to a great school, was President of his class and Captain of his football team. Guess who the college is going to pick first? Guess who will have a better shot at the scholarship?
With this being said, I hope I didn't offend anyone because that is not my intent. If you can homeschool your child, I think that's really great and I admire you. I think more children should be homeschooled. I'm just not sure it is the first option for Nic. One thing I've really learned from him being at preschool is that he LOVES being around children his age. He likes having his friends around and learning with them. I have also seen an improvement in his social skills. If he is homeschooled, he won't get to be around his friends as much. I guess that was just another point for private school.
Whatever school he attends, I plan on being very involved. I will know his teachers and be comfortable with them. One of the reasons I love his school now is because I know his teacher, I don't feel like I'm leaving him with a stranger for three hours. When he starts school, I plan on doing the same.
After writing this blog, its easier for me to see what the best option is for us. I'll start researching private schools today.
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