Tuesday, July 24, 2012

There is something wrong with me

I think there is something wrong with me.

I can't take a compliment.

I know in the grand scheme of things, this is no big deal, but I feel bad about it and think I'm probably not the only one with this problem.

Why am I like that?  Why are so many women like that?  I have been trying for a long time to correct this problem but, while I have improved, I'm still failing miserably.

I LOVE to pay compliments to others and I never do it with an ulterior motive.  If I say, "I love that shirt!"or "You are rocking those shoes!" or "You look beautiful!" or "Your strength is amazing!"  or "I admire your ability to do that!", and so on and so on, I mean it.  It makes me feel good to lift others and let them know that yes, in fact, you do rock!  After I pay a compliment to someone and they argue with me that actually they don't rock, or no they don't look great, it's kind of a bummer.

Why then, is it so hard for me to accept a compliment from someone else?

I'm worst with my husband.  He tells me all the time that I'm beautiful or that I look great.  You know what my response usually is?  "You need to have your eyes checked."  or "Oh, Whatever."  Yup, it's true. I'm embarrassed to admit it, but it's true.  I catch myself sometimes and just say thank you.  But, a lot of the time, I cut down his compliment without regard for how that makes him feel.  The truth is, I'm grateful that he finds me beautiful and thankful that he loves me and cares enough to take the time to let me know.  I do tell him this, but I still fall into the, "whatever" trap a lot.

If someone on Facebook compliments a picture of me, I make excuses, it's the angle, or the lighting or because it's in black and white and everyone looks good in black and white.  I don't just say thank you.

I'm working on it though.  Yesterday a friend paid me a compliment and I just said, "Thank you!"  I wanted to pay her one in return, but I know when I pay a compliment, it's not because I want one in return and that I most appreciate it when someone just says thank you.  So, that's what I did.  It felt really weird and awkward, but I did it.  Then, I realized I did it.....and suddenly, it felt great!

I can do this!  I can learn to accept a compliment and realize that I deserve it!  You know what else?  So can you!


Alyssa said...

I am that way too Donna!!! Very much so. Monty tells me all the time that he hates when I don't accept his compliments, or when someone else gives me a compliment I think it is because something else is really wrong and they didn't really mean it. I think, atleast with me, it is a heart issue. A self confidence issue. Which I am trying to work on because this is not what God would want, He would want us to be confident in ourselves and view ourselves the way He sees us....beautiful.
Thank you for this post Donna and you do look great, be proud of yourself :)

Anonymous said...

Very true. Thank you for posting. Nice to know I'm not alone.