Friday, September 25, 2009

You've Got to be Kidding Me!

Close your eyes and picture it. There I am, sprawled out on the couch like a beached whale, my eyes fixed on the TV in a trance-like stare, my mouth opened wide as I look from the TV to my gigantic stomach, back to the TV and then back to my stomach and finally, back to the TV again. What I am seeing is inconceivable to me.

I am watching Discovery Health. There is program on called "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant." I truly can not fathom this. I hear women talking about how they went nine months with a life growing inside of them and never having a clue they were pregnant.

Are they serious? Is this a ploy to get on TV? Is this a joke? I check the calendar. Nope, it's not April Fool's Day. This show is real!

I then hear a doctor talk about how it is possible to be pregnant and not recognize the signs because you credit them to something else, like bad Chinese food. At this, my yet to be born son kicks me in the bladder. Even he doesn't get it.

My pregnancy with my oldest son was not easy at all. My pregnancy with this son has proven even harder. I am in a state of awe at the women who are actually pregnant for nine months and don't know it. I can't imagine not having morning (actually all day) sickness, not getting up to go to the bathroom 10 times a night, the back pains, the inability to be comfortable no matter what position you are in, the indigestion, the inability to control my thyroid disease, the inability to maintain a normal glucose level, the sheer exhaustion (just to name a few).

Then I go from awe to a feeling of pity. Yes, these women don't get the unpleasantness of pregnancy, but they also missed out on the entire process. The amazement of having a life growing inside of you, feeling the baby move for the first time and then, when he really gets the hang of it, REALLY feeling it and sometimes even seeing it! They didn't get to have ultrasounds and get a sneak peek at their baby, they didn't get to anticipate and dream about what it would be like to finally hold their little one. They didn't get to experience the fun of decorating and preparing a nursery before the baby arrives. They didn't have months to decide on a name. How sad!

But, I still don't get it. How on EARTH could a woman not gain weight, not feel the baby move, not have any pregnancy systems at all? Most of the women said in hindsight, they recognized the pregnancy systems, but they discredited the baby moving to gas (WHAT?) and the nausea to having the flu (HUH?). There were other reasons they missed the signs, but as I look down to where my belly button used to be, I truly can not imagine being pregnant and not knowing it. As tough as it has been, I'm so thankful and feel truly blessed to be able to experience it again. The good and the bad. But especially the good.

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